On Floating, and Sinking

Words of Rebellion: The Collected Writings of J. Francis

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On Floating, and Sinking

August 11th, 1944

You think when you’re floating, you’ve escaped. But floating is just sinking in denial. It’s the illusion of safety while your legs go numb.

I remember the feeling of holding onto the hull—smoke rising, saltwater mixing with diesel, and my crew’s voices fading one by one. We weren’t brave. We were reduced.

We sank in parts: first the mission, then the myth, then the belief that any of it had meaning. Floating just meant we hadn’t gone under yet.

When they pulled us out, they gave us medals. But none of us had names for what we lost.

- J. Francis